What's Your "Escape Hatch"? The Importance of Hobbies

Today,  author Jaye Wells did a fantastic post on burnout. Go read it. I'll wait. She explains how she got burned out when her passion and escape (writing) became her job and took over every aspect of her life.

I so relate to that article. I've talked a little bit about it here, but I definitely was burnt to a crisp by the end of 2015. I love writing. It is my passion. But when it became my job and my world became deadlines and constant writing and promotion and all the business that goes along with being a writer, I lost what Jaye calls the "escape hatch."

Writing used to be my escape hatch. I started writing in high school not just because I loved reading and creating stories but because it gave me a break from the angst of being a teenager. It was an escape from every day life. That's one reason why I went back to writing after I had my son. I was a new mom who had no idea what she was doing and was dealing with a very colicky, non-sleeping baby. When I needed to take a break from all that, I escaped into writing.

That was the best thing I could've done because that's the point where my passion turned into my career. I got my first publishing contract when my kidlet was three. From that point on, writing became my full time job. 

I love it. I feel lucky every day that I get to do this for a living. BUT, it means that writing is my job. It's what I *have* to do now. That takes some of the "escape" out of it. Where do I get to escape when writing gets hard or stressful or a book is fighting me? And books always fight.

That's what led me to my burnout. I didn't have that other outlet anymore. For a while at the end of last year, I didn't even want to read because that's tied to writing. And, believe me, if I'm not reading, that means there's a major problem lol. *cue warning sirens for meltdown*

So after turning in my book, I stepped back and evaluated and took a break. I read non-fiction since fiction wasn't calling to me. I painted and redecorated my office. And I got a planner--seemingly to be more organized--but it ended up being more than that. I discovered there was this whole planning community. And it was a crafty pursuit. There are pretty pens and washi tape and stickers involved! That has become my version of an escape. It's a hobby that will not make me money, that has no pressure attached to it, and that relaxes me. From the outside, it seems like a silly thing. I mean, how many pens do I really need? This many, btw:

My pen/pencil collection

My pen/pencil collection

 

But after reading that post, I realize--no, it's not silly or indulgent. It's necessary. It's self-care.  I found a crafty, creative outlet to be my little escape hatch when I'm not writing. And looking back, I've been doing this all along. When things get stressful, I seek out hobbies. Maybe I start cooking a lot. Last year, it was canning and pickling things. I took a photography course a few years ago when I definitely didn't have time for it. I rebuilt my website because I enjoy the process of taking things apart and putting it back together. It's even in my author bio:

"If she’s not working on her latest sexy story, you can find her cooking, watching reality television, or picking up another hobby she doesn't need--in other words, procrastinating like a boss."

But maybe it's not always procrastinating or a hobby I don't need, after all. Maybe it's making room in my head for the writing. It's giving my brain space to "breathe" and refresh. 

And I know that Jaye's post was specifically about writing, but I think it applies across the board if you're doing a job you love. Or being a parent. Or even a job you hate. We need that time to play. We need those things that don't have any stakes tied to them.

So, I'm curious. What's your escape hatch?

Week 2 of #ListifyLife: The Books I'd Want to Live In For a While

It's week 2 of the Listify Life challenge (you can still join in!) and this week's topic is choosing the books you'd want to live in for a while. 

There are so many more I could choose, but I decided to go with the first ones that popped up in my head. Many of them go back to childhood wishes for fantastical worlds with flying and magic. :) The other two are grown-up picks.

1. Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling - I'm not sure this needs explanation. I have to admit when I went to Universal Studios to Harry Potter world, I got little kid style excitement. Plus, Butter Beer.

2. The Neverending Story by Michael Ende - If you're not familiar with this story, it's about a boy reading a book who gets pulled into the book and literally becomes part of the book. This whole concept was so magical to me as a kid--that thought that I could become part of the story. And really, do I need any other reason than the chance to ride Falcor the Luck Dragon?

3. A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L'Engle - my favorite book as a kid and the book that made me want to be a writer, so it has to get a spot

4. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon - Okay, so the lack of showers, low status of women, and the constant threat of being killed would suck. But then there's Jamie in a kilt...or, you know, out of it. :)

5. My own Loving on the Edge books - Okay, this is a totally self-indulgent pick. But how cool would it be to walk into that world and meet characters I created and see The Ranch? Okay, so it'd be weird...but also, awesome. :)

 

So those are mine. Are you playing along? Which books would you pick?

I'm a Double RITA Award Finalist!!!!!

So I totally had another post planned today and I was going to tell you about this great book I just read, BUT my brain cells are now only operating at half-capacity because I got the call today that I'm a double nominee for a RITA® Award (the romance writer's version of the Oscars)!!!!

BREAK ME DOWN is nominated in the erotic romance category!

and

NICE GIRLS DON'T RIDE is nominated in the novella category!

I'm over the moon excited. My morning has mostly consisted of this: 

and this...

Here's the list of all the nominees if you want to go on a book buying binge. I know I'm going to be doing that, lol.

Now I have to go shop for a fancy dress for the San Diego conference. :D

Have a great holiday weekend, y'all! 

 

First Look: Excerpt of Loving You Easy

Want the first sneak peek of LOVING YOU EASY? This is a menage romance, but here's a little snippet of the heroine, Cora Benning, with one of the heroes, Ren Muroya. They've both been working hard to be professional since they're working together, but things break down after a few drinks over dinner. (NOTE: This is a pre-edited version. Some things may change and please forgive any typos.)

Enjoy! Oh, and if you'd like to picture Ren while reading, the visual inspiration for his character is Godfrey Gao. You're welcome. :) 

From LOVING YOU EASY (releasing September 2016):

Cora shifted backward, bumping into her car. “Please don’t do that.”
Ren's brows dipped. “Don’t what?”
“Try to make me feel better. Give me a boost or whatever. Because, seriously, I don’t need your pity.”
He laughed. This sharp bark of a thing that echoed through the empty parking lot. “Pity? Are you kidding?”
Her teeth snapped together, anger rising. “You—“
But he moved so fast it made the rest snag in her throat. Both of his hands landed on the car behind her, caging her in and bringing his face close to hers. “Ready for completely and whole-heartedly inappropriate?”
He wasn’t touching her anywhere, but he may as well have pressed his entire body against her for the way her blood went hot. She couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move. All she could see were those dark eyes and inhale the scent of him, spicy food and man.
“I reeled myself in tonight. I asked you to dinner for selfish reasons. But once we were there and got to talking, I had a crisis of conscience. You’re working with me. You’ve been through hell this week. You didn’t need me complicating that. I forced myself to play by the rules. I made myself be good.” He leaned close to her ear, his breath coasting along her neck. “But don’t think for one second that I didn’t want to talk you into my bed tonight, that I didn’t want to show you that side of myself you saw in the hallway at the party, and that I haven’t been thinking exactly how good it would feel to have you beneath me.”
All ability to breathe ceased inside her. Her body going still as stone and melty as lava.
“So you can accuse me of a lot of things, Cora. Crossing lines. Being selfish. Acting inappropriately. Because I’m doing all of those things right now. But one thing you can’t accuse me of is pity.” He pushed off the car, freeing her from the invisible hold, and took a step back. “I’ll see you in the morning. And if you decide not to show up anymore because of this, I’ll make sure you’re paid through the rest of next week.”
He turned and strode toward his car, leaving her standing there trembling and breathing hard and…way too turned on.
She wet her lips, a surge of bravery welling in her. “You never told me your breaking the law story.”
The words rang through the distance between them, and she thought he might keep walking, but he stopped and turned around. “We’ll need to schedule a seven-course meal to get through all of that.”
“That long of a list, huh?”
His mouth kicked up at the corner. All bad boy and charm. "Goodnight, hallway girl."

***

Get your copy on pre-order:  Amazon  | Barnes and Noble |Books-A-Million |Indie Bound |The Book Depository | Kobo | iBooks | Google Play

 

Week 1 of the #ListifyLife Challenge - Spring For Me Is...

Spring is here! Which for Dallas apparently means it's finally going to act like winter. o.0  We've had a strangely warm winter and then the day the calendar flips to Spring, it got really cold. But I'm looking that as a positive--maybe it will kill some of the mosquitos lol.

Now, on to the first week of the #ListifyLife challenge and this week it's all about Spring! Remember you can join up with this challenge at any time. There will be a new topic each week throughout Spring.

So here's my list! (Forgive the not-so-great doodles. God blessed me with the ability to write and left me with nothing in the ability to draw department.)

Listify Life Challenge Week 1

1. Bluebonnets - This was a new one for me when I moved to Texas. Right at the start of spring, these gorgeous blue-purple wildflowers pop up all over the place along the roads and interstates. They only last for a few weeks, but it brightens everything up and lets you know spring is here. You'll also see people stopping along the side of the road to take pictures of their kids in the bluebonnets. I haven't done this yet because...bees. Fear of bees > Need for blubonnet pics

2. Thunderstorms - This is my least favorite part of Spring. I love rain, but I hate the scary thunderstoms we get here in Texas. Hail is no fun and tornadoes are terrifying. And we've been through Springs here where every week the sirens are going off and you're hiding in the closet. *hates*

3. Crawfish boils - Unfortunately, this is one I don't get to experience anymore since leaving Louisiana, but Spring still makes me think of them. It's crawfish season and it's lent (no meat on Fridays) so in Louisiana that often means crawfish boils on Fridays. Some of my most vivid family memories are of sitting around a newspaper-covered picnic table with the big crawfish pot boiling away over a roaring propane flame and the scent of cayenne in the air. This Good Friday, I will promptly go into the sads that I don't have a crawfish boil to go to, lol.

4. Start of conference season - The kick off for the writers' conferences I go to is the Romantic Times convention, which is typically in April or May. So now is when I start thinking about fun conference trips with friends, getting new clothes, and seeing readers. :)

5. Sunshine - The most obvious one of Spring, but after my Vitamin D deficiency issue this past fall/winter, the sunshine is more welcome than ever. 

All right, that's my list for the week. Are you joining in to the challenge? Click here for the details, but below is the list of topics for the coming weeks. And you can post any time during each week. If you're playing along, feel free to leave a comment with your link. :) And remember Sierra Godfrey made really cute printable cards if you want to use those for your lists.

What does Spring mean for you?