Do You Assume Writers Write What They Know?

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Most of the time I bet the answer to the question is "no." No one assumes that writers who write about serial killers have gone and killed people for research or that fantasy writers actually believe in elves. But for some reason when it comes to romance, in particular, erotic romance, people start making all kinds of assumptions.

Why?

Perhaps because sometimes those assumptions are true. But many times they're not.

And unfounded assumptions can be dangerous (as is the case is yesterday's debacle with the news station "outing" teacher/writer Judy Mays and painting her as some sort of demented pervert because she writes erotic romance in her off time. And for the record, I wouldn't care if she was swinging from the chandeliers in her off time. It's her off time and it's her right. But don't get me started.)

But here's my question for you guys--what do you assume about a romance writer when you're reading the book? If they write kinky stuff or BDSM, do you think they're in that lifestyle? Do you assume they are writing love scenes that they've experienced in real life? Or do you believe it's a just healthy imagination? 

And does it matter to you? For instance, do you prefer someone to be writing from a credible standpoint (like Kink Cred as writer Tiffany Reisz talks about in her post today at Dirty Birdies)?

I personally don't care if someone has the cred or not as long as the story is well written and the author has done their research (whether it be vicariously or hands on.) You don't have to have a menage with two hot men to be able to write a threesome scene (unfortunately). And obviously, the majority of the authors writing m/m romance are women so they definitely have never been a gay man. But I will get pulled out of a story, for instance, if characters do something that I know isn't possible or would cause injury in real life or whatever. So if you're going to write it, do your homework.

Though I will say, even in the best written stuff, I can still kind of tell the difference between the writers who are writing it solely from imagination and the ones who've tried a few things out themselves. Doesn't make one story better than the other, it's more just a *feel*. There's an extra edge, a grittiness, when someone is writing from an experienced perspective. Those are the books that when I finish I think--yep, I believe her. (Tiffany Reisz and Joey W. Hill come to mind.)

So what are your answers to my questions above? What do you assume about authors? Do you think you can tell when someone is writing from fantasy vs. experience? Does it matter to you? What has pulled you out of a story?

BDSM Romance: What To Read If You've Never Tried It Before

So I once did a post on my writing blog about "gateway" books. In other words, books that acted like a "gateway drug" into a genre or subgenre. We all probably have a few of those. For instance, the first fantasy/sci-fi I read was A Wrinkle In Time in 5th grade. And it hooked me. I went on to read a ton more.  

Image by Roger Robberstad (click pic for link)

Books can also slam doors shut on the genre if you pick up the wrong one first. I think this is a risk you run in erotic romance in particular because there is such a wide variety of subgenres within the subgenre, styles, and intensity levels out there. If you've never read a BDSM romance and you pick up Joey W. Hill's Nature of Desire Series (which is absolutely amazing, btw), it may be a little overwhelming because her stories go pretty deep into the lifestyle, the psychology of it all, and can get pretty extreme. You sort of have to "graduate" up to reading her.

But if you're curious and interested in testing out this subgenre, where should you start?

First, if you're really new to erotic romance, let's define BDSM. 

BDSM is a type of adult roleplay between two or more individuals. The compound acronym, BDSM, is derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism and masochism (S&M). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures.

--Wikipedia

Another key part of BDSM is that everything is supposed to be SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual), so these books (when well written) are NOT about real force. These relationships are negotiated. 

Now, even hearing all that if you've never read or been exposed to any of that can be a little intimidating. But fear not. :) These romances are at their heart, romances. Love is the core of the story and you'll get all the conflict, heart break, tension you get in any well-written romance. 

So, if you want to give it a try, where should you start? Besides my first book, Crash Into You, obviously. ;) 

Here's the book I've recommended time and again to my non-erotic romance reading friends. And so far, I haven't had one not like it. This is a book that has a slow build of tension, has a suspense subplot, and has a great couple that you root for.

Here's the blurb from Maya Banks' Website:

Sometimes the first step in taking control is surrendering.

Under Faith Malone’s deceptively soft exterior lies a woman who knows exactly what she wants. A strong man who’ll take without asking—because she’s willing to give him everything...

Dallas cop Gray Montgomery is on a mission: find the guy who killed his partner—and bring him to justice. So far, he’s found a link between the killer and Faith—and if Gray has to get close to her to catch the killer, so be it.

Faith is sweet and feminine, everything Gray wants and desires in a woman, but he suspects she’s playing games. No way she would allow a man to call the shots in their relationship. Or would she?

Faith sees in Gray the strong, dominant man she needs, but he seems determined to keep her at a distance. So she takes matters into her own hands to prove to him it’s no game she’s playing. She’s willing to surrender to the right man. Gray would like to be that man. But catching his partner’s killer has to be his first priority. Until Faith is threatened and Gray realizes he will do anything to protect her.

Love, love, love this book. And even if you've read a thousand BDSM romances, this is one not to miss. 

Have you ever read a BDSM romance? Why or why not? And if you already read in this genre, what gateway book would you recommend? And who are your favorite authors in the genre?