Endings: Happily Ever After or Not So Much...

Image by Magenta Rose

Have you ever read a book that you loved the whole way through, then you reach the ending and the author totally blows it? I've talked a good bit about beginnings and first chapters (here, here, here, here and here.) because that's what hooks your readers/agents/publishers, but endings are just as vital. I don't care how much I loved a book, if the author lets me down at the end--that is the lasting impression, that determines whether or not I go out and buy another book by that author. (Thanks to CKHB, btw, for suggesting this post topic.)

I have to admit, I struggle with endings. I go through this whole process of writing a book then when I get to the end I'm like, uh, hmm, well--even when I know how I want it to wrap up. I enjoy writing the journey much more than the destination. So this is definitely an area I am working on.

First, let's look at some common ending options:

1. Happily Ever After (HEA) or Happy For Now

--This is the most common ending, especially in romance.

--When I pick up a Harlequin, I know that no matter what crap the characters have to go through, they will be together in the end. It's the same with romantic comedy movies--you know when you go see them what the end will be, you're just not sure how they are going to get there. It seems like knowing the ending would ruin the process, but it doesn't--we enjoy the journey.

--And be careful setting up this expectation then pulling the rug out from under your reader. As with any rule, it can be broken, but be careful having a happy lighthearted novel then at the end you decimate every relationship or good thing.

2. Sad Ending

--These are trickier, in my opinion. Some people like to cry with their books (*waves at Oprah*), but you don't want to end sadly with no kind of resolution or lesson.

--Give the reader something to walk away with. In Titanic, it's horrible that sexy Leo dies, I ugly-cried in the theatre, BUT I was left with the sense of the undying power of love and how someone who we meet only briefly can touch our lives forever.

--This kind of ending also works when the only logical place for the story to go is down the sad road. If you're writing a story about the Holocaust, you probably aren't going to be able to wrap it up with balloons and sunshine. (And your readers won't expect you to).

3. The Cliffhanger

--These are only okay if you are planning a series, in my opinion. Nothing with piss me off more than a book ending with no wrap-up and no next book. That will ruin me on an author.

--Even if you are setting up for the next book, make sure that you have some resolution with some of your story threads so that your reader has some sense of satisfaction (along with a desire to know more on the unresolved ones.)

--These can be very effective, as I mentioned in my review yesterday. The cliffhanger is the only thing that's going to get me to buy the next book. I also just finished the first four books of The Vampire Diaries and LJ Smith is great at the cliffhanger. I read all four books in about three days because of those darn cliffhangers.

4. The "Things That Make You Say Hmm" Ending (yeah, I just pulled out that old school reference)

--These endings are more common in literary fiction than genre fiction.

--This ending leaves you with something to think and ponder on. If someone were to ask you what you thought of the book right after finishing it, you'd probably say "I'm not sure yet."

--Sometimes books with these endings provide a profound experience, other times it's just frustrating, so it has to be done artfully.

In my YA, I struggled with the ending, rewriting it at least three times. I started out with HEA, then changed it to a sad ending + cliffhanger, and now it's a happy for now (with the romance thread) and a cliffhanger with the external plot. My adult romance was always a HEA, but it still was difficult to write and make it feel fully satisfying and not rushed.

Alright, so those are some of the options for endings. Tomorrow I will cover what to do and not to do when creating your ending along with some tips of how to come up with the direction you want to go in.

So do you find beginnings or endings harder? Which types of endings do you prefer to write or read? Have you ever read a book that you loved the journey but loathed the ending? How do you feel about cliffhanger endings?

**Today's Theme Song**

"It Ends Tonight" - All-American Rejects

(player in sidebar if you'd like a listen)

Story Layers: Finding Your Guacamole

Photo by erin.kkr (click pic for link)

Many of you brave souls are deep in the trenches of NaNoWriMo crafting that fast draft at break neck speed, hoping to reach the finish line. But after the calendar clicks over to December 1, what's next? Revising sure, but what kind of revising?

You're going to need more than grammar fixes and word cutting. What most of you will have is a skeleton of a story with characters and conflict holding it together--a solid base on which you can create something great. But you're going to have to add some meat (and guacamole), layers--like the dip above--otherwise, you'll just have a big pile of bland beans.

Layering Your Novel after the First Draft

 

1. Put movement into each scene to give bodies to the talking heads.

--People don't usually just stay there and talk and sigh, they do things.

2. Insert the senses into a scene.

--We often rely too much on vision in that first draft. We experience things in the world through all five senses, make sure your character does too.

3. Pump up your setting descriptions.

--This is always a trouble area for me. When I'm writing that first draft, I don't want to waste time describing how a house looks, but it's necessary (in moderation) to ground your reader and enrich the scene.

4. Inject emotion into scenes

--Many times we get so wrapped up in A happens then B then C that we forget to put in those internal reaction and emotions. Ever read a love scene that read like an instruction manual? Ugh. Without emotion the scene will fall flat.

5. Beef up your dialogue

--Find places where you just got the words out and layer in some character voice. And make sure your dialogue reads realistic.

6. Sneak in backstory

--In first drafts, I tend to info dump backstory. Go back, chop up the chunks and sprinkle it throughout. (like the olives in the dip)

7. Foreshadowing

--Sometimes when your start, you don't have the end in mind. Once you're done with draft one, you know the secret. Now you can go back and tuck little hints to foreshadow.

8. Tighten tension

--Tension is an art of pacing. In the first run through, a scene that was intended to be tense may fall short because it was rushed. Go back, slow it down, stretch the tension until taut.

9. Add humor (if appropriate)

--There are usually moments you passed up that were great opportunities to elicit a smile from your reader or strengthen your character's voice with a little humor/sarcasm.

10. Weave in subplots.

--Now that you have the main plot hammered out, enhance your story with a subplot here and there.

11. Break out the thesaurus

--I usually can't think of the exact write word the first time around--especially with verbs. So I use my favorite goto words and some adverbs. Then, during revisions, I find/search those words and replace them with something that is stronger and more fitting.

--Words I use ad nauseum in a first draft: walked, looked, stood, smiled, pulled, pushed, just, back, eyebrows, hand/s, sighed, sat

--If you're not sure what your addiction words are, go to Wordle and paste in your manuscript, your drugs of choice will be the biggest words. Here's my revised novel's Wordle:

As you can see I still have some work to do with a few words, but you should have seen it before, "just" was like a billboard, lol.

source: the art of layering

So what ingredients does your first draft usually need most? Do you typically finish the first draft and then do these layers? Or, do you do it smaller chunks--going back after finishing a chapter and pumping it up? What other things do you do to elevate that humble rough draft?

**Today's Theme Song**

"Elevation"-- U2

(player in sidebar, take a listen to do it old school)

Story Beginnings: Agent and Publisher Opinions

Photo by Dave Gingrich (click pic for link)

Last week I talked about the opening sentence. You guys had a great debate in the comments, so it's clear that we all have different opinions. So, in lieu of so many of you starting a new story for NaNoWriMo, I thought I would share some of the tidbits from Hooked that the author got straight from agents and editors.  

What beginning makes them stop reading?

• You didn't get them on page one. We need to have them at hello.
• Starting with backstory or a static character introduction.
• Hooking the reader with something that has nothing to do with the story--a gotcha.
• Not clearly identifying the POV character--sex, age, etc.
• Starting with weather, scenery, dreams, waking up for the day, or a passive scene (any description should be about movement).
• Too much tell not enough show.
• Pulling a bait and switch--i.e. having an opening that is dark and serious then jumping to a chick litty voice in the next scene/chapter.
• Clunky sentences, bad grammar, hemorrhaging adverbs, etc. One editor said that if sentence one isn't good, why should he expect it's going to get any better with sentence two. Others said that by the end of the first page, they know if the person can write or not.

So what should you do to get them to turn the page?

• Start with people--novels are not about scenery
• Don't open with a villain. You want your readers to connect with your protagonist first. (An agent admitted that many established authors do this, but it's typically in series where the reader is already familiar with the protagonist.)
• Starting in the middle of the action.
• Having an irresistible hook.
• Action, conflict, crisis, or danger (this from agent Janet Reid).

Additional advice from the agents/editors...

• Don't worry about your beginning until you finish the book. Once you have a whole, it's easier to know where to start.
• Oftentimes the first three chapters can be scrapped because it's just you working out the story for yourself.

Alright, so at least that gives us permission to write crappy beginnings the first go round. :) 

So what about you guys? What do you think of this advice? Do you have trouble finding the right place to start? Have you made any of these mistakes above?

**Today's Theme Song**

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" - U2

(player in sidebar, go ahead and take a listen)

Friday Face Off: Is the First Line THAT Important?

With the recent opening paragraph contests over at Nathan Bransford's and Lori Brighton's blogs, along with reading Hooked, I'm getting seriously paranoid about the gravity of sentence one of page one in chapter one.

In Hooked, Les Edgerton says:

Your first sentence or paragraph may be the most important writing in your story. They may well be what sells your manuscript to an agent or editor.

It also can be the difference maker on a sale to a reader later on. I have to admit that I am one of those people that opens to the first page and reads the first line when I'm browsing in a bookstore. Even Amazon posts the opening line underneath the titles of many of their books. I read the blurb for the book too, but a great opening line can win me over. So we may only have seconds to impress that agent/publisher/reader.

No pressure, right?

So what the heck makes a great opening sentence? Les suggests that the first sentence is "part of the whole" and should contain at least a hint of the end.

When I first read that, I was like, oh hell, that seems impossible. But then I thought through some great opening lines I've read and he's right. Many opening sentences hint at the theme or foreshadow future events if only in a subtle way.

I grabbed a few random books off my shelves for some examples:

The whole enormous deal wouldn't have happened, none of it, if Dad hasn't messed up his hip moving the manure spreader.--Dairy Queen, Catherine Murdock

Just when I though my day couldn't get any worse I saw the dead guy standing next to my locker.--Marked, PC Cast and Kristen Cast

The terror, which would not end for another twenty-eight years--if it ever did end--began, so far as I know or can tell, with a boat made from a sheet of newspaper floating down a gutter swollen with rain.--It, Stephen King

Years later Amy would remember the day she saw inside the spider house.--Nazareth Hill, Ramsey Campbell

Sybil Davison has a genius I.Q. and has been laid by at least six different guys.--Forever, Judy Blume

As an interactive horror experience, with beasts from Hell, mayhem, gore, and dismemberment, it was an impressive event. As a high school prom, however, the evening was marginally less successful.--Prom Dates From Hell, Rosemary Clement-Moore

Great lines, right? Made me want to read more for sure. And having read these books, each one of these hints at the overall theme or the ending.

When I'm writing a rough draft, I try not to think about this heavily weighted line, but at the same time, I think if you can get that first line in decent shape early on, it can help guide you through the rest of the book.

Here are the openings from both my romance (which I've posted once before) and my newest WIP. (The new WIP is just started, so this line will probably change because although it hints at theme, it doesn't hint at end.) You can let me know if these hook you or not.

From Wanderlust:

Southern gentility be damned. Nice was getting her nowhere. Aubrey Bordelon put her hands on her hips and attempted an I-mean-business face. “Look, I’m not here to get laid.”

From Exposure Therapy:

Brynn LaBreck’s date was spiraling toward DEFCON 1—imminent disaster. Her sexy banker had jumped from possible fantasy fulfiller to potential therapy client in a span of twenty minutes.

So what do you think about the whole first line emphasis? Do you believe it's well-founded or do you think we shouldn't stress so much about one simple sentence/paragraph? What are your first lines or what's your favorite first line from a book?

**Today's Theme Song**

"Ten Seconds to Love" - Motley Crue

(player in sidebar, go ahead and take a listen)

Love Scenes 101: Don't be Corny or Porn-y

I'm taking a break from Face Off Friday to finish the discussion from yesterday. Today: Love Scenes. This could be that kiss that your readers have been rooting for since page three or it can be full out swinging from the chandeliers. If you've done your job building up that sexual tension, your readers should be biting at the bit to get to this part. So don't let them down with a lame, lackluster scene!

What can turn a hot moment cold?

 

You're squeamish

If you, the author, are not comfortable with the scene, you're readers will be able to tell. Do not write an erotic romance if the thought of typing out four-letter words in a sex scene makes you cringe.

Shallow POV

The reader needs to feel like she is in the moment with the characters. So make sure you use Deep POV effectively and don't pull out of that.

Lack of character development

If your characters are flat, their love scene will be as well.

You haven't established sufficient motivation for the scene.

Don't have them kiss/jump in bed/etc. just because it feels like a good time. Make sure we know why they are doing this now.

You haven't raised the stakes enough.

The risk of them getting together is nil and therefore uninteresting. What consequences could happen now that they are giving in to their love/desire for each other?

No change happens.

Love scenes should change the people involved--be that good or bad.

The scene lacks emotion.

All we have is description of the physical acts and not what's going on in their heads and hearts. This can turn a great sensual scene into gratuitous (and boring) porn.

So what are some ways to make sure your love scene gets readers' hearts racing?

 

Make sure you've sufficiently built up tension.

See yesterday's post.

Write in emotions.

Tell us what's running through your character's mind. Often the emotions in this type of scene will be mixed.

Love scenes should be tailor-made

You should not be able to cut and paste it and drop into a different story. Only these two characters could have this exact scene.

Conflict should still be present.

If both love each other, have no obstacles, and jump in bed--yawn. They have to be risking something. Otherwise, it's just two people doing it.

Use dialogue.

I love using dialogue in a love scene. Teasing words can be great for tension. Dirty talk can be fun because often it's pushing the other character out of their comfort zone.

A sense of humor can come in handy

Love scenes don't have to be totally serious. Kissing someone or getting naked with someone can be awkward and a little humor and sarcasm can help ease nerves and bring the characters closer together. I find playful sarcasm sneaking into most of my love scenes because I write snarky characters.

Write what you feel comfortable with and what is right for the characters.

Love scenes don't have to be fully described (although they can be). You can shut the door and fade to black. It can be a simple kiss. You have to be comfy with the amount you're letting your reader see. And make sure it's appropriate for your character. If you're character is a virgin, don't write a scene where she acts like a pro.

Don't fear naughty. If your story calls for a little or a lot of dirty, and you feel comfortable writing that type of scene go for it.

If your hero is a notorious badass and playboy, he's probably going to be a little raunchier in bed. And raunchy doesn't have to mean it's porn. If you put in emotion and have built appropriate tension, even a threesome with all the four letter words used can be engaging and romantic. (I've seen it done.)

Remember the POV you're writing in.

If you are in the hero's point of view, remember that guys are going to think in a different way than the woman. He's probably not having flowery thoughts (maybe love thoughts, but not flowery). And he's hopefully not going to refer to his uh, friend, as his love sword in his head, lol.

Speaking of love swords...

Don't use cheesy euphemisms and purple prose. You don't have to use the clinical or crude terms (although you can depending on what you're writing), but use ones that don't make your readers laugh or roll their eyes.

Make sure it's the right time.

Don't put in a love scene just cause you think you need one. Motivate it properly. And it MUST move the plot forward and change the people involved in some way. Every scene has to have that purpose.

Sources: Writing Erotic Romance and Fiction Factor. Another great source (for the 18 and up crowd) author Stacia Kane's Sex Writing Strumpet series of blogs.

And last bit of advice: if your heart isn't racing while you write the scene, you're doing something wrong. You should be anticipating that scene as much as you want your reader to. The first love scene I wrote for my romance, I was sweating by the end of it, lol.

So do you have any tips on writing these scenes? Do you find them difficult to write? (For me they are hard, but so much fun at the same time.) What's one of your favorite love scenes from a book/movie/tv show?

**Today's Theme Song**

"Lay Your Hands on Me" - Bon Jovi

(player in sidebar, go ahead and take a listen)

Amping Up Sexual Tension

Today's topic...sexual tension and love scenes. I get the sense that most of you are writing YA and so you may think this isn't going to apply to you. However, some of my favorite YA books are chock full of sexual tension even though actual sex does not occur.

The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare is a good example. The tension between Jace and Clary is palpable. Sexual tension is also a huge part of the appeal of Twilight. Each are so aware of each other, but a mere touch or kiss could cause Edward to lose control. And of course, in tv shows, this is the workhorse. Dawson's Creek (pic above) held me for all seven (?) seasons with their use of sexual tension. Oh how I love Joey and Pacey, but I digress.

So how do we create this tension? Then once the tension is built, how do we work in a love scene that makes all that tension worth it?

To build tension:

Make the attraction that each feels for the other obvious to the reader.

--The characters are hyper aware of all the little details of the person when he/she is around. Use all the senses not just sight.

No conflict=no tension

--Make sure there are good reasons why these two can't be together--internal and external. Bella and Edward can't get together because, well, he may kill her.

Use internal dialogue

--The hero may be clenching his hands at his sides, but tell us why. The urge to reach out and touch the heroine's hair is overwhelming him.

Always on each other's mind

--If your hero and heroine aren't together in a scene, then have their thoughts go to the other so that we know he/she can't get the other off his/her mind.

Patience, grasshopper

--Don't relieve the tension too quickly. Frustration must build and build. There's a reason why the first love scene doesn't usually happen until 2/3 the way through a book.

Here we go, wait, not so fast

--Give you characters a taste of what they could have, then make them stop. This is the famous device on sitcoms where they start to kiss, but then someone burst in to interrupt. It doesn't have to be that obvious. One of the characters could be the one to stop (usually for some internal reason related to the conflict between them.)

It's addictive

--Once you do let the two get together the first time (be that a kiss or full out lovin'), leave them wanting more. Instead of satisfying their need/curiosity/etc., they want each other even more. Now they know what they could have if not for all that pesky conflict. Damn those mean authors who put so much in their way.

When all looks like it's going to work out, pull them apart again.

--Romantic comedy movies do this all the time. The characters seem to resolve some conflict and get together. Oh but wait, there's more! Some conflict wedges between them again.

--Don't resolve the relationship until very near the end. Otherwise, the reader will lose interest.

Source: Writing a Romance Novel for Dummies

Okay, since this is going a little long, I'll save my info on writing love scenes for another post.

So how about you? Does your novel have a romance or undercurrent of one? What author do you read that is a master at creating sexual tension? (I love Charlaine Harris for this. I wait with bated breath for my Eric and Sookie scenes.)

 

**Today's Theme Song**

"Want You Bad" - The Offspring

(player in sidebar, go ahead and take a listen)

What Kind of First Chapter Writer are You?

Chapter One. Two seemingly innocuous words. But they strike bone-chilling fear in most writers. If these first few pages fail to hook the agent/editor, your chance at getting published can fizzle in the few seconds it takes them to hit the eject button. No pressure, right?

So most of us know what a first chapter needs in theory. Starting in medias res, right in the middle off things. Hook the reader, draw them in, instantly. So why is it so hard to accomplish? According to these Harlequin editors, writers often fall into one of these first chapter categories.

Photo by Kazi Harok Al-Arafat (click pic for link)

 

The Free Spirit

This writer doesn't outline or plan, so she's not sure where her story is going, who her characters really are, or what the plot points will be. So this ends up in a meandering, unfocused first chapter.

Solution: Make sure that you revamp that first chapter dramatically after the whole story is together so that the threads are started clearly.

 

The Procrastinator

This writer writes her way into the story. Chapter one turns into a sea of backstory and description to set up the story instead of actually starting the story.

Solution: Often it is hard to start a story without writing out the backstory for yourself. Do this as a writing exercise, not as the first chapter. Then take the elements of that backstory and sprinkle them in throughout the story.

 

No-Man (or Woman's)-Land

This is related to the procrastinator. The writer spends too much time on other things and doesn't introduce the main characters until Chapter two. This is more important in some genres than others. In romance, hero and heroine should both make an appearance quickly. IMO, YA should also start with the MC. In suspense or thriller, you may have an opening incident from the killer's perspective or something so there are exceptions.

Solution: Your story is ultimately about your characters, so make sure we meet the main ones quickly. Endless description, world-building, etc. in chapter one will lose a lot of people.

 

Saves the Best for Last

This writer thinks that readers will hang on until chapter four or five for the main conflict/action to get going.

Solution: Start your story where it "gets good". If you find yourself saying to your beta-readers, oh just wait until you get to here... you may want to cut those first few chapters.

 

Me-Me-Me

This writer is the storyteller so sets about telling us everything from the author's perspective instead of letting the characters talk for themselves. This separates the readers from the story.

Solution: Let the characters show the reader what's going on.

 

The Party Animal

This writer loves characters, lots of them, so there's a party of minor players and a swarm of names bombarding the reader in chapter one. Who's the MC? How can we tell?

Solution: Minor characters and subplots are great, but keep it to a minimum in the first chapter. The reader has to be able to identify the MCs.

 

The Show-Stopper

This writer knows how to write a killer opening line and scene. But after that, goes down in a blaze of glory. Think of these as that great movie preview that makes you desperate to see a film, then after you spend your 8 bucks, you realize the preview was the only good part of the movie.

Solution: Treat every chapter like the first chapter. You can lose a reader at any time. So make sure every scene is interesting, moves the plot forward, and keeps the reader wanting more.

I'm hoping that in my recent WIP, I haven't fallen into these categories. With the short length of category romance, you don't have a choice but to jump in and get thing rolling quickly. But I know with my first WIP, I definitely suffered from a combination of the Procrastinator and Saving the Best for Last.

Have you found yourself in one of these camps before? Which one do you gravitate toward if not paying attention?

Alright, now a few links:

• Angie over at Gumbo Writer is re-launching the Rose and Thorn Journal today, which is "a quarterly literary journal featuring the voices of emerging and established authors, poets and artists." They have a free newsletter, so hop on over and check them out.

• Editor to Rent created a list of Marks of an Amateur that they see in submissions. Really helpful.

• And, I wanted to mention for those of you who are new to this blog that I am now marking all writing craft entries with the "writer toolbox" label. So if you want a quick link to all crafty things, click on writer toolbox in the labels box in the right sidebar. Or click here.

• And lastly, I now have a retweet button at the bottom of each entry, so if you find an article helpful, I'd love for your to tweet me. Wait, that sounds dirty. Well, you know what I mean.

UPDATE: Just ran across this article today on what TO DO in the first chapter over at The Kill Zone. Check it out. Great stuff

Alright, that's it. Make sure you let me know what type of first chapter writer you are. :)

**Today's Theme Song**

"Kickstart My Heart" - Motley Crue

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

Wordiness: The Post in Which I Discuss Reduction of the Aforementioned

I'm a wordy girl. In school, the teachers used to tell us the minimum amount of pages required for a paper. While others were trying to figure out what font would fill the maximum amount of space (Courier New, btw), I would be trying to get my paper under fifteen pages. So I know I have to watch this tendency when I'm writing.

The terrific resources on the RWA site helped me out again. Here are some things to help cut the fluff out of your manuscript.

1. Eliminate and remove redundancy.

Fluffy: She sobbed and tears fell from her eyes as she watched him walk away.

Sleek: Tears fell from her eyes as he walked away.

2. Delete intensifiers that don't intensify.

F: Generally, Mary kept her very deepest emotions hidden.

S: Mary kept her deepest emotions hidden.

(or even better: Mary hid her deepest emotions.)

3. Remove important sounding phrases that don't add to a sentence.

F: All things considered, she was thankful for the outcome.

S: She was thankful for the outcome.

4. Avoid starting sentences with expletives.

No, this doesn't mean curse words. An expletive according to Webster is : "a syllable, word, or phrase inserted to fill a vacancy without adding to the sense." That should tell us all we need to know. (it was, there are, etc)

F: It was his eyes that made her heart beat faster.

S: His eyes made her heart beat faster.

(Or better: His eyes made her heart pound.)

 

5. Use active instead of passive voice whenever you can.

F: The dishes were washed after dinner by my mother.

S: After dinner, my mother washed the dishes.

6. Reduce clauses to phrases, and reduce phrases to single words.

F: In the very near future, she would have to make a decision.

S: Soon, she would have to decide.

 

7. Remove adjective clauses where you can.

 

F: The girl who lived next door wore a dress that had pink stripes.

S: The girl next door wore a pink striped dress.

 

8. Turn prepositional phrases into one-word modifiers.

F: The captain of the football team always dated the prettiest of the cheerleaders.

S: The football team captain always dated the prettiest cheerleader.

 

9. Cut extraneous words or phrases.

F: We conducted an investigation regarding the murder.

S: We investigated the murder.

 

10. Remove cliches and euphemisms.

F: He had a sneaking suspicion his protests were falling on deaf ears.

S: He suspected they were ignoring his protests.

 

11. Weed out the "to be".

F: Sue found the children to be exhausting.

S: Sue found the children exhausting.

 

12. Avoid stating the obvious.

F: He sat down and realized it was already 6am in the morning.

S: He sat and realized it was already 6am.

 

*This a personal favorite of mine. I naturally write "stood up"--like where else can you stand but up? Grr. I do it all the time.

13. Delete meaningless adverbs.

F: She yelled at him loudly, then ran away quickly.

S: She yelled at him and ran.

 

The source that I pulled this from also has fantastic lists of

Redundant Phrases like

absolutely essential = essential

future plans = plans

Wordy Phrases

A lot of = many

Come to an end = end

And Cliches

sad but true

give a damn

So are any of you wordy like me? Which of these do you find cropping up in your manuscript the most?

And in honor of the amazing U2 concert I attended last night, a song that has a single word title but says so much...

**Today's Theme Song**

"One" - U2

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

Face Off Friday: First Novel Querying

Abby Annis over at Evolution of My Neuroses had a post yesterday on whether or not she should put her "baby" (first novel) in a drawer for a while or send it out to the agent world. Some say that you should not query your first book until you've written a second.

(It's too soon if) It's your first novel. No matter how hard it is to hear and follow this advice, it's probably the best advice I'll ever offer: write a second novel before you query on the first one. You'll learn so much while writing that second novel that you'll go back and either revise or discard Novel #1. AND you won't have all the baggage from those damn form rejections to weigh you down --agent Janet Reid

Others argues that it's silly to do that, some first novels get published. You've done all that work, so go for it. So, I thought this would make a great debate for a Face Off Friday.

I have to say that in my case, I queried my first novel too soon. It was before I was blogging, before I had quality beta readers, before I knew what the heck I was doing. (Although, I thought I did.) I had two biggie agents request fulls, which were eventually met with rejections (albeit one was personalized and encouraging.) After I received these a few months after querying, I already knew that my book needed work. Since querying, I had learned so much. I now want to smack myself in the head that I jumped too soon on sending out those letters.

I've since dramatically revised and rewritten that YA book and the new version is still out with a two agencies, so I haven't given up hope. But I think it would have served me well to wait on anything until I finished my second, which I've now done.

But patience is my least favorite virtue and is often my downfall. So I understand when others want to do the same as I did. And perhaps they will have better luck than me. But here are some points to consider:

Querying Now vs. Later

In defense of immediate gratification...

• You've worked really hard on your novel and the thought of not seeing what it could do out there is driving you crazy

• Some first novels sell

• You've revised the book ten ways til Sunday so it's not "technically" your first effort

• Publishing follows trends and your vampire/fairy/angel/werewolf book may not be "in" if you wait too long

• You can't focus on a second book unless you know if this one is going anywhere

• Your family has been hearing about your writing this book, now they keep asking you about the results

For love of patience...

• If you write a second, you will have learned so much more that you will look back and see the flaws in your first effort that you missed the first time

• It's already too hard to keep up with trends since publishing is a slow process, so you have to take comfort in that if it's a great book, it will still be great in six months

• You'll have time to detach yourself from the first book and have a more unbiased opinion later

• You won't burn bridges with agents

Alright, so I'm picturing myself reading this a year ago. I would have read the points for patience and been like, yeah BUT BUT BUT... and figured out all the ways that this did not apply to me.

So, I know that some of you are probably doing the same thing. Therefore, I'll include a little checklist to look over if you want to query your first novel and know that you're not going to be able to wait until you finish a second.

If you can't wait, make sure...

• You have read writing books, blogs, etc. on a regular basis.

• You know these rules/best practices (adverbs, participial phrases, buried dialogue, avoiding melodrama, showing not telling, etc.)

• Each important character has a clear internal Goal, Motivation, and Conflict and external GMC. And by clear, I mean you do not have to explain it to others who have read your book.

• Your novel is high concept (if that's what you're going for) so you can boil the plot down to a sentence.

• Both your author voice and character voice are strong.

• Your opening chapter hooks the reader and is not loaded down with backstory.

• You are able to write a 1-2 page synopsis. If you can't, there may be a problem in the book (according to Janet Reid).

• Your novel has been read by at least three beta readers/crit buddies who are NOT your personal friends or family members. You need people who are writers themselves, have knowledge of the craft, and aren't afraid to be honest.

• You've read extensively in your genre and know what's out there, what's been done, etc.

• Even if you're not writing a second novel yet, let the manuscript stew for at least a month to gain some distance from it.

Alright, so that's my take on it. The links I included are former posts on all these issues. Feel free to disagree as always.

So what's your opinion? Should you follow the path of patience or jump into the shark tank? For those of you who have more than one novel under your belt, how do you see your first novel now? And has anyone out there had success with first novel querying?

**Today's Theme Song**

"Patience" - Guns 'N Roses

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

Who Wants to Get High (Concept)?

Go to any writer's conference and you'll hear the following two words ad nauseum: High Concept.  Agents, publishers, your Uncle Bernard--everybody wants your story to be high concept. So what exactly does that mean?

High concept is an intriguing idea that can be stated in a few words and is easily understood by all. --James Bonnet

Okay, great. Sounds easy enough. Movies and tv shows use this all the time. It's just a log line, right? Well, not really. Let's look at a few log lines from today's tvguide.

Swingers--Warmly amusing story about the do's and don'ts of dating, centering on six friends who go looking for love at hip LA hotspots.

Definitely, Maybe--On the eve of his divorce, a jaded Manhattan ad exec tells his ten year old daughter how he met her mother.

*Shrug* Both good movies, but based on those descriptions I could take 'em or leave 'em. They tell you in general what it's about but there's no real intrigue. That's not to say they don't have high concept, but these loglines don't speak to it.

Now let's look at a few examples that are considered "high concept.

Speed--A cocky cop must find a way to save people stranded on a city bus that will

explode if is slows below 55 mph. (source)

Double Jeopardy--When a young wife discovers the husband she’s convicted of murdering isn’t dead, she escapes custody to track him down and kill him. (source)

The Hangover--After a wild bachelor party in Vegas, three friends wake up to find the groom missing, and no one has any memory of the previous night.

Back to the Future--In 1985, Doc Brown invents time travel; in 1955, Marty McFly accidentally prevents his parents from meeting, putting his own existence at stake. (imdb)

Ooh, now I don't know about you, but those grab me. Why? What are the differences between a straight logline and a high concept.

High concept stories have...

1. A unique premise

This doesn't mean you have to do something that's NEVER been done before. Let's face it, that's hard. But put a twist on it. In Speed, we've seen bomb/terrorist plotlines before, but wait, let's put it on a bus, oh and let's make sure that the bus can't slow down. In New Moon, we basically have Romeo and Juliet with vampires and werewolves.

2. Universal appeal

If your idea is unique (#1) but so bizarre that no one can relate to the premise, then you've lost your high concept. In Double Jeopardy, being betrayed by a spouse is something most people can connect with. No, maybe not everyone has been betrayed by their husband/wife, but we can imagine what that would be like. And certainly everyone has been betrayed at least once in their life by a friend, family member, etc.

3. Instant emotional connection

If we don't connect emotionally with a story, then what's the point of reading it? In Speed, we can connect with the idea of being an innocent bystander on the bus caught in that life or death situation. Or the cop whose trying to save everyone. In The Hangover, we can imagine the panic we would feel if we woke up and had no memory of the previous night and our friend was missing.

4. Obvious Potential (Can be visualized immediately)

When you hear a high concept pitch, you instantly start imagining what could occur. This doesn't mean a predictable story necessarily, but it gets our mind working. In Twilight, we can imagine what problems might arise when a vampire falls in love with a girl whose blood is absolutely irresistible to him. Clueless goes to Harvard Law (guess the movie). We can imagine the funny antics that will ensue.

5. Only one to three sentences (preferably one)

If you can't cover it in this amount of time, your concept made need a shot of heroine--sorry, I can't resist making lame puns--your concept needs to get high.

A few things to help you create your high concept...

• Create a compelling character with a desperate desire

• Give the character a flaw related to their job or situation

• Have a life-altering, inciting event

• Insert a quirk of fate or irony

--source

Alright, so I hope that helps. I know that we all want to be able to do that "elevator pitch" if ever given the right opportunity. And we certainly want that one liner in our query that is going to get an agent or publisher excited. I'm terrible at this, so this post is as much for my benefit as everyone else's. I'm bound and determined to have my high concept pitch before I jump into my next novel.

Here are the sources I quoted from, check them out for more info:

Conquering the High Concept

High Concept Defined

Got High Concept (from RWA)

What's all this talk about high concept? (from the Knight agency)

If you want to see examples of loglines (some high concept, some not) and taglines (i.e. hooks), go to imdb.com and enter any movie. They offer one line plot summaries and the hook for every movie. It's awesome.

So have you done this? What's your logline or high concept pitch? Do you think your current WIP fits these guidelines? Also, what do ya'll think I'm my kinder, gentler new blog design? I'm on the fence about it, so let me hear it. :)

**Today's Theme Song**

"High Enough" - Damn Yankees

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

Read 100, Write One

One of the beautiful things about writing is that it doesn't require a license, a special degree, a certification, or a secret handshake to do it. Anyone can pick up a pen or sit down at a computer and start. Does that mean what the person writes is good? Not necessarily, but it doesn't automatically mean it's bad. It's not like me walking into a hospital and picking up a scalpel to try my hand at surgery--guaranteed failure. We each have a chance at succeeding when we sit down to write. However, as we all know, many times we fail. It's hard. Really hard.

So what do we do to improve? We read writing books and blogs, join critique groups, attend workshops, write our butts off, and basically become information whores. But what is sometimes overlooked is the fact that we should be reading extensively as well, particularly in our home genre. Not doing so is like walking into a foreign country and not speaking the language. Sure, you may be able to figure out how to order that chicken dish you want using hand motions or something, but you may end up with fried pig entrails instead.

Some argue that you don't have to read in your genre because that will keep your mind clear and prevent you from being derivative. Heck, you can be truly creative, right? BUT, if you don't know the expectations of readers in that genre or don't know what's selling, you may create something that no one wants. Or, more likely, you'll create something that's already been done to death, but you don't realize it because you haven't read those books.

So what has been suggested is that you read a hundred books in your genre before you write one. That number seems daunting (and I don't think you need to stop writing until you finish), but it's like getting a masters degree in your genre. Emily Cross (in the spirit of the Fill-In-The-Gaps challenge) has created The Basics Challenge. This challenge requires you to make a list of a hundred books you want/need to read in your genre, then giving yourself five years to get through them.

I haven't officially signed up because I'd have to come up with a list first, but I'm thinking this is a great idea. I have a long list of YA I've read, so I've probably taken a big chunk out of that hundred already, although there is room for more. (Update: I just made a list of my YA off the top of my head, and I've read 65.) However, with romance, I used to stick strictly to romantic suspense, so I have huge gaps in contemporary and historical romance. So I'm going to think about putting together a list. And all you romance readers, I'm asking for your help--tell me what I MUST read if I plan to make a career in romance writing.

If you're interested in joining this challenge, visit The Basics Challenge website. Here are some lists I found online in different genres to get you to thinking of books to add to your list. Keep in mind, every list is subjective. You need to make a list that fits you. I would suggest including classics of your genre along with what is selling now. (For instance, YA has changed drastically in the last ten years, so don't base your knowledge just on what you read when you were a teen.)

Top 50 YA books of all time and Best YA from GoodReads

Best Thrillers of All Time

Best Horror of All Time

Top 100 Fantasy

Top 100 Romances and All About Romance 100

Time Magazine's Top Books of All Time

And I bought this at the used bookstore and it has been a wealth of suggestions for me in all genres. I've enjoyed every recommendation so far.

So what do you think of the "read 100, write one" philosophy? Does the basics challenge interest you? Think you could go the distance? And all you romance readers, what book do I just HAVE to read (can be any subgenre of romance)?

**Today's Theme Song**

"The Distance" - Cake

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen.)

"Oh no! Melodrama!" she screamed as she collapsed into tears.

 
 

There are a lot of fine lines in writing: creating a sense of place v. bogging down reader with description, creating a new spin on an old idea v. being derivative, creating characters with depth v. backstory overload, etc. Another one that I've had trouble defining the line between is drama and melodrama.

Our stories are supposed to have conflict and drama. What's the point otherwise? However, when that story inches into melodrama we risk losing our reader. Instead of connecting with the characters and feeling part of the story, our readers start rolling their eyes. So how can we tell the difference?

This is especially difficult to determine if we're writing a teen story. I'm not going to stereotype, but looking back at myself as a teen, I was quite melodramatic. My high school was my whole world and every event and emotion was amplified. When my crush didn't like me, it was cause for tears and incessant listening of depressing and sappy music. When a good friend gave me the silent treatment for a week, I thought we would never be able to overcome such a terrible turn of events. So how do we make sure our characters and plot are authentic and believable and interesting without sending it into the realm the soap opera?

First my quick definition...

Melodrama is when emotions, plot, or actions are too over the top. My litmus test is if a scene that is intended to be emotional/heartfelt/painful would tempt readers to groan, roll their eyes, or laugh, then I've crossed over the line.

I'll use Twilight as an example since most of you have probably read it or seen the movie. In the scene at the hospital in the first movie (see pic above), Edward tells Bella she needs to stay away from him for her own safety. Bella sits up, panicked, stuttering "No, you can't leave me! We can't be apart." The line in and of itself is fine, but this scene made me giggle in the theatre. Also, in the book New Moon, Bella's reaction to Edward leaving is um, intense, to say the least. Months of depression and becoming an adrenaline junkie seem a tad melodramatic to me. (Disclaimer: I have admitted to loving Twilight, so please no hate comments from devoted fans. Despite the problems I see in the stories, I can't help but be hooked. I'll be in line on opening night of the next movie.)

So what can we do to avoid crossing this line?

 

• Beware the exclamation point! It's rarely needed and is usually a beacon of melodrama

 

• Watch words like screamed, shouted, sobbed, cried, etc. Use them sparingly.

• Put yourself inside your characters. If A, B, or C happened to you, how would you react? Of course, your character hasn't a different backstory than you, but this will give you a start to find an authentic reaction. I mean, really, how many of us are actually swooning when we see a hot guy?

• Don't have your characters act contrived just to fit a plot need. They're actions must be based on realistic/logical motivations that you've developed in the story. i.e. If a character is mild-mannered throughout, but you need an emotional scene so all of a sudden she flies off the handle with no logical motivation to do so or previous behavior to back it up.

• No TSTL (too stupid to live) characters. i.e. running up that stairs when a serial killer breaks into the house, heroine believing something the bad guy tells her when she KNOWS he's the bad guy. Your readers won't buy it.

• Avoid stereotyped characters--the wise old man/woman, the evil ex-wife/other woman, the naive virgin, the bitchy popular girl, the hooker with the heart of gold, the perfect/infallible male love interest. If you use any of these, you need to make sure there is a twist on it. For example, in PC Cast's Marked series, Aphrodite starts as the stereotypical blonde mean girl, but develops into something much different as the series goes on.

• Watch out for huge coincidences. Yes, when writing, we're playing God, but that doesn't mean we can twist fate to create unbelievable coincidences. Your reader will give a big "yeah right" or "my, isn't that convenient?"

• This is related to the coincidence thing, but be careful of creating conflict after conflict after conflict to where there is no way to believe that all that would happen to one person. The best example I can think of is the first seasons of 24. Jack's daughter's Kim couldn't keep herself out of trouble. How many times can one girl get herself kidnapped or put in mortal danger? It became a joke in our house--how will Kim try to get herself killed this week?

 

And if in doubt, picture a scene through the eyes of a Saturday Night Live writer. How much rewriting would you have to do on that scene to recreate it for comedy/satire on the show? If the answer is "not much", you may have jumped into the melodrama hot tub.

So am I the only one who struggles with this line? How do you determine if you've gone too far? And what are some of your favorite melodramatic books/movies/tv shows?

 

**Today's Theme Song**

"Selling the Drama" - Live

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

Face Off Friday: Prologues

It's that time of the week again: Face Off Friday. On today's agenda, the loved/dreaded/maligned prologue. The rumor is that writers love them and agents/publishers hate them. Some quotes from our favorite blogging agents:

 

99.9% of the time, the prologue is vague or doesn’t really give me a sense of the writing or the story that’s going to unfold. I skip them as a general rule. --Kristen Nelson, Pub Rants

It is 3-5 pages of introductory material that is written while the author is procrastinating from writing a more difficult section of the book. --Nathan Bransford's definition

 

Earlier in the week, I talked about the written and unwritten rules of writing I have discovered along the way. The one that many of you had pain over was the fact that prologues are frowned upon. So, I thought I would delve deeper into that topic today.

First, let's define a few types of "pre-chapters":

 

Prologue is a preface to the story, setting up the story, giving background information and other miscellaneous information. --wiki

A preface is an introduction to a book written by the author of the book. A preface generally covers the story of how the book came into being, or how the idea for the book was developed; this is often followed by thanks and acknowledgments to people who were helpful to the author during the time of writing. --wiki

A foreword is a (usually short) piece of writing often found at the beginning of a book or other piece of literature, before the introduction, and written by someone other than the author of the book. --wiki

Okay, so what most of us are dealing with is the first one, as the preface and foreward are typically used for non-fiction works. (However, Twilight breaks this rule--what's new--and uses the term preface for its prologue.)

Prologues are seen in all genres, but are particularly popular in fantasy/sci-fi and thriller/suspense. In fantasy, the prologue often provides information to help the reader understand the strange world that they are about to enter. In suspense, a prologue can contain the killer's point of view or one of his first victims points of view to ratchet up the tension instantly.

So those seem valid reasons to use one, right? What's the problem?

The problem can lie in the fact that the prologue is almost always a big chunk of backstory. And backstory can be dangerous--it risks boring the reader and makes your pace drag. Prologues can also be a sneaky way to hide a slow-moving first chapter. (I have NEVER used this device for this sordid purpose, *cough*.) The latter is how it's used in Twilight. We get a glimpse of the end action--an unnamed victim being stalked by a unknown predator--before we enter into chapter one where nothing much interesting happens for many pages.

However, prologues aren't always terrible. Hush, Hush which I just reviewed recently had a prologue. The brief pages showed a scene that explained what happened to one of the characters to make him the way he was. In this novel, I didn't mind the prologue and its purpose was clear. Could the story have been sprinkled in later? Perhaps, but the prologue was a big shining billboard that said--"hey this is about angels!" and the scene had tension and action, not just flowery language about some random legend.

So when is it a good idea to include a prologue and when do you need to cut it?

Prologue vs. No Prologue

For love of the prologue:

 

• Fantasy/Sci-fi/Paranormal can be difficult to jump into without explaining a bit of the mythology/legend/world first.
• Some of the greats used prologues
• It can build tension early
• You have a helluva twist coming later that you need to foreshadow
• There is history that is vital to your story that must be introduced early

 

Nix the prologue because you are probably using it to cheat and do one of the following:

 

• Set the mood/atmosphere because you failed to do so in the opening chapter
• Info dump because you can't figure out where to sprinkle in the backstory
• Create tension because your chapter one is slow and you can't bear to edit it again
• Not trusting that your reader is smart enough to understand the world you created
• Your story or fantasy world is overly complicated and you want to get the reader a school lesson on it first

 

Another thought:

 

"Writers hope to create suspense and interest by writing a prologue about the person who turns out to be the villain but without identifying that person by name or gender. Sorry, but in my opinion, that's a cheap parlor trick and your reader knows it. You're better off doing the hard work of creating suspense and tension with your hero and heroine."--author Carolyn Jewel

 

I have to admit that I am guilty of loving a prologue. The one I had for my first novel was unnecessary and I was using it as a cheat (cheap foreshadowing). I cut it a few months ago and saw that I never needed it. However, I do have some mythology that could be helpful in a prologue, so even though I haven't added it, I'm constantly tempted. *sits on hands for a moment to keep from typing one up*

However, I am a little afraid of including one based on the may negative opinions out there. Most agents/authors say it should be used as a last resort. I don't want to do anything to hurt my already slim chances of breaking into the world of publishing.

So what's your opinion? How do you feel about prologues in the stories your read? Do you have a prologue in any of your stories? Are you using it for the right reasons or are you worried it's a cheat? Do you think they should be used only as a last resort?

**Today's Theme Song**

"Your Cheatin' Heart" - Patsy Cline

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

No! No! Bad Writer

Growing up, I was a girl who (except for the occasional rebellious moment) followed the rules. I wanted my parents, family, and teachers to be proud of me. I did what I was supposed to, got the As, and developed a bit of a perfectionistic personality. In many ways, this was a good thing. On the other hand, worrying about perfection is a bit maddening because of course it can never be achieved.

When I started to get serious about my writing last year, I jumped in and just started typing. I didn't pick up a writing book, read an agent blog, or do a lick of research. Very unlike me. But the creative juices were churning and I needed to get the words on the page before I did anything else. Once I finished my first draft, I took a breath and started to read more about writing. And boy, oh boy, there was enough out there to send me into a near panic attack.

There was so much I didn't know, so many rules I had never heard of. I thought with a firm grasp on grammer, an idea about story structure, and the show don't tell rule, I was good to go. I had no idea there was a written (and unwritten) code of the do's and don'ts of writing. This, of course, sent my anal-retentiveness into overdrive. I jumped into editing and tried to fix the things I had no idea were wrong the first time around. Then, draft after draft, I would discover a new rule I wasn't aware of and would have to go back through again. It was liking trying to break the code into a secret society.

And it hasn't stopped yet. I'm still learning new rules and agent/publisher preferences every day. At times, it's overwhelming, but I want my manuscripts to be as good as they can be, so I'll keep digging and finding out what I can. I know I can never reach perfection, but I can sure try, lol.

What I Done Learnt So Far:

1. Adverbs are the devil incarnate. They will steal the soul of your verbs.

2. Excessive adjectives are like white shoes after Labor Day.

3. Prologues (this one hurt) are not your friend.

4. Dialogue tags are like big, fat "I'm a new writer" billboards in your manuscript

5. The being verbs are the ugly stepchildren of the verb family

6. You want verbs that go to the gym--nice and strong.

7. Rhetorical questions in query letters make agents burn your letter in a weekly bonfire.

8. Backstory should be slipped in like roofies into a drink--your reader didn't even notice it happened.

9. Present Participial phrases are generally bad. (This one is a new discovery for me. Editortorent has a whole series on PPPs alone.)

10. Hidden/Buried Dialogue is not preferred and slows down your pacing. (This one is also new to me. My handy dandy critique group gave me a lesson on this one recently. Apparently, dialogue passages need to be in one of the following structures:

• dialogue -->narrative-->dialogue
• narrative-->dialogue
• dialogue-->narrative

NOT narrative-->dialogue-->narrative OR (my personal favorite) Dialogue-->narrative-->dialogue-->narrative. Don't bury dialogue in the middle of narrative. I did this all over the place, including the submissions I currently have with agents--sigh).

I'm sure there are hundreds more rules, but these are the ones that made the most impact on me.

What writing rules have you discovered that you never knew existed? Which rule stabbed you in the heart when you heard it? Which one is your biggest enemy--the one who sneaks in your writing all the time?

**Today's Theme Song**

"Know Your Enemy"-- Green Day

(player in sidebar, take a listen)

Author Voice vs. Character Voice

Last week Susan over at A Walk in My Shoes did a post on the importance of voice. I enjoyed her post, so I'm stealing her topic and expanding on it. :) Voice is one of the most often sited components of writing a great story/novel. Publishers are looking for a strong voice, a fresh voice, a clear voice, etc. Unfortunately, it's also one of the things that we as writers struggle with and stress about the most.

I think the first thing that confused me early on was the difference between author voice and character voice. At first, I thought they were the same thing. They're not.

 

Author voice "encompasses word choice, rhythm, pacing, style, tone and structure." (source)

Character voice also affects word choice, rhythm, and pacing. But in character voice those things are influenced by the character's background, history, age, education, regional location, time period, etc.

Crystal clear, right? *snort*

Okay, maybe this will help, because it definitely helped me. I attended a workshop at the DFW Writer's Conference given by author Candace Havens. She explained author voice by saying that you could pick up any one of her books no matter what the subject/character/plot and know that she wrote it.

That made sense to me. I've written a first person YA and a third person contemporary romance. Obviously, my character voice needed to be different in both. My teen MC in the YA can't sound like my male protagonist in my romance. (Although, that would be pretty funny.) But, when people look at both manuscripts, they recognize my style in both.

My author voice is snarky, casual, and chatty. My books will never be filled with lyrical prose and elegant descriptions. Even if I'm writing a story with serious elements, humor will always be present. Why? Because that's who I am. I don't take life very seriously. Sarcasm is my favorite pastime. Self-depracation is a way of life for me. I can't escape my voice.

So there's good news in that! Voice just is. (Read your own blog, you'll see your voice shining through.) We can hone it and analyze it and improve it but our author voice is already there. It's who we are. The only thing that gets in the way of it is when we try to imitate some other author's voice. "I want to write books just like..." It's good to study other people's writings and pick out what you enjoy about it, but be careful not to let what you "think" your voice should be overtake what it actually is.

So, if author voice is just waiting there to be discovered, what we probably need to worry about more is making sure we have an accurate character voice for each of our players. To do this, we need to analyze our characters, get into their head, know their history. As one of my handy dandy critiquers recently pointed out about one of my characters: she's from the south, she wouldn't say "you guys", she would say "y'all". Of course, I know this (being southern and a over-user of y'all) but I lost her voice for a minute trying to sound more proper. These are the small nuances we have to watch out for. If our characters don't sound believable, we'll lose the reader.

Well, that's my take on the whole thing, but I'd like to hear your opinions.

How do you define your author voice? Do you struggle with either type of voice? Have you ever caught your characters saying something they totally wouldn't say if they existed in real life? Which author's voice do you enjoy the most?

**Today's Theme Song**

"Voices Carry" - Til Tuesday

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

Face Off Friday: Say it pretty vs. Say what you mean

Scott over at The Literary Lab (great blog, btw) had a post this week on overwritten prose. He argued that writers, especially newbies, often try too hard to sound "writerly" and trump up their prose with unnecessary adjectives, adverbs, and metaphors. In other words, purple prose.

Wiki defines purple prose as "prose that is overly extravagant, ornate, or flowery as to break the flow and draw attention to itself. Purple prose is sensually evocative beyond the requirements of its context."

Here is the famous example (from Wiki): A more recent author famous for purple prose is Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton (1803–73), who begins his novel Paul Clifford (1830) with the sentence:

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

**I will say I don't mind "It was a dark and stormy night" as it's also the first line of A Wrinkle in Time, my favorite childhood book.***

In the comments section of his blog, a debate began. Some argued that purple prose is actually very common in many of the classics and shouldn't be vilified. They also argued that just because someone should write accurately, does not mean they have to be brief. Brevity can sometimes come at the sacrifice of lush and beautiful language.

So here we go with the face off:

Say it Pretty vs. Say What You Mean Prose

For love of Purple:

• Many classics, which have been lauded as great writing, contain purple passages
• Without beautiful, flowery words, we're reduced to lackluster sentences
• Why do we have such a rich language if we aren't going to use all those lovely words?
• This type of prose does not mean it has to be inaccurate writing. You can say what you mean and still say it in a beautiful way.
• Brevity is a trend, not a rule.

On the less is more side:

• Say what you mean and don't dress it up to make it look fancier.
• Being brief and accurate does not mean the writing must suffer--straightforward prose can be beautiful

  In The Book on Writing by Paula LaRoque, she suggest an exercise where you take a passage and only use one syllable words. When a high school student performed this exercise, she/he came up with "When I stepped through the rocks to glimpse the coast for the first time in my life, I was awed. The wide blue sea glowed with light from the sun, and wisps of smooth white clouds soared in the huge free sky." Maybe too many adjectives still, but pretty, using only one syllable words. I love the idea of the huge free sky.

 

Lisa McCann (Wake- excerpt) and Laurie Halse Anderson (Speak
) also do a really good job of being brief but impactful.

• Purple prose often tells instead of shows
• It often contains unnecessary information.
• It's painful to read.

So, I will admit that I have a personal bias on this. I hate long passages of flowery language. This type of writing has never done it for me even before I knew what purple prose was. I often find myself skimming through pages of long descriptions to get to the "good" part. Maybe this is a sign of undiagnosed ADD, I'm not sure. However, I can say that I don't enjoy these passages. I have a very functional imagination. You tell me the kids are in a high school gym, I've got a picture. I don't need to know the color of the floors or that is has basketball goals, unless either of those play some crucial role in the plot. But I know not everyone feels this way.

What's your opinion? Do you love the beauty of this type of writing or do you skim past these passages like I do? Do you catch yourself putting passages like these in your own writing or do you have the opposite problem and struggle with description?

Character Therapy

Characters are the hearts of our stories. We don't fall in love with plot (usually), we fall in love with the people. So when creating the characters for our stories, we need to pay careful attention to create three-dimensional believable ones. Our characters should have full, rich backstories of why they act the way they do. (Even if this backstory does not make it into the actual book, we need to know it.) If we treat them like real people in our head, then hopefully they will translate as authentic people on the page.

When I start crafting my characters, I often begin with a simple sketch. This usually involves a big circle with the characters name in it, then branching arms as I list their qualities. Very high tech, I know. However, once this is done, I'm only left with a two-dimensional person. Okay, the guy is pig-headed, impatient, paranoid, etc. But why? This is where the work comes in. What made him that way? None of us exist in a vacuum, we are the way we are because of our experiences. So how do you dig deeper and find out?

One day when I was struggling with this, I started rifling through my psyc books from college. Then, I stumbled upon a paperback I bought when I first started interning as a counselor at the college counseling center. I was in panic at the time because I didn't feel prepared to offer people therapy yet, so I started looking for books that would help explain things in layman's terms. A cheat sheet, if you will.

I still feel sorry for those who were subjected to my inexperience during that year. The students knew they were seeing a grad student, but still, I was terrible. My first marriage counseling session with two grad students ended with the guy throwing his wedding ring at his wife (after she admitted to cheating with their roommate) and storming out with a threat of suicide. (I stopped him from leaving with the help of my supervisor, he was alright--although, I wasn't.)

Anyway, I bought the book Think Like a Shrink

to help. (Insert snort at the name--I know.) However, this has now turned out to be an invaluable resource for character backstory building. The chapters are barely a page long and cover the reasons why people act like they do. Some of the title chapters:

 

Those who don't remember their childhood may want to forget it

The ills of the mothers, or fathers, really are visited upon the children

Boundaries define people the way borders define countries

The way people feel about sex is critical to their psychology

Women do not suffer from penis envy nearly as much as men do

Needy people immediately create chaos in relationships

Don Juan had an absent father

An extramarital affair is less important than what led to it

Beware unsolicited denials

We can tell alot about people by the way they say goodbye

What is one the outside is often the exact opposite of what is one the inside

Vain people marry accessories

Those who can't get comfortable in their own skin may claw at others

People regress to earlier behaviors under stress

Doing nothing can be very pushy

I don't agree with everything this guy says. He can be a little Freudian at times, but a lot of it rings true. And anytime I pick it up it gives me great ideas for characters. I highly recommend it.

So what do you do to make your characters three-dimensional? Do you interview them? If so, how do you decide on the answers?

This Magic Moment

What separates a novel from being just good to being great? We can talk about plot points and characterizations and originality. All of those things, of course, count for a lot. However, what seems to really define the difference for me is if I remember parts of the book (or movie) for years to come. I could enjoy a book, feel drawn in, feel satisfied when I'm done, but if you ask me in a year or two and I can't remember much about it, then maybe the book wasn't great (or maybe I'm my long term memory is just getting worse--always a possibility.)

So that got me to thinking about what makes a novel particularly memorable. In Ann Rittenberg and Laura Whitcomb's Your First Novel (a great resource, btw), they argue that a novel is memorable because of the moments an author creates. They define five main types of moments that make a story stick with us for long after we've closed the book.

1. Opening Hearts

These are the moments that are either filled with joy or sorrow. These are often the heartbreaking moments that make us cry.

ex.) In Titanic when Rose has to let go of Jack's hand in the water. In Romeo and Juliet, when Juliet awakes to find Romeo dead.

2. Instilling Fear

These are the moments that scare the bejesus out of us. These scenes are the ones that make us get up to check and make sure that we've locked the front door.

ex.) In the movie The Ring when the little girl steps out of the tv. In Stephen King's (who is the master at this type of moment) The Shining when the wife finds the stacks of typed pages that say "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

3. Raising the Temperature

These moments, for lack of a more delicate way of putting it, turn us on. This doesn't necessarily mean sex; it could be a simple kiss, but it hits a hot button.

Ex.) In the Mortal Instruments series, the scene with Jace and Clary in the fairy court. In Charlaine Harris' Sookie books, (hmm, there are so many, where to start), I'll say in the fourth one Dead to the World, the shower scene with Sookie and Eric. (By the way, did anyone see True Blood last night? Talk about raising the temperature, whew. :) But I digress.)

4. Getting a Laugh

These are the moments that make us laugh out loud while we're reading, even though we're in the middle of the airport and everyone turns to look at us. My husband gets particularly annoyed with me when I hit these in a book because he feels left out on the joke.

ex.) In Knocked Up when the friend walks into the delivery room and she screams in her most demonic voice for him to get out.

5. Winning Victories

This is the part of the book that we're all waiting for. The hero gets the girl/guy, the murder is solved, the bad guy is caught/killed, the war is won, etc.

Ex.) The examples are all over the place. Every book and movie has one of these, it's the climax. But the key is to make the reader really care about getting there. We have to feel personally invested in the outcome. If not, we're left cold.

So what do you think? Do you have these in your own book? Are these types of moments what make you remember a story? Also, what are some of your favorite moments that stayed with you long after the end of the book or movie?

Face Off Friday: Adverbs

The votes are in. You guys have chosen Face Off for the weekly Friday theme. Thanks to those of you who voted!

So, first a quick update, since I have been absent for most of this week. I have spent the last four days in a manic state of revising. The manuscript, thankfully, is now on its way to the agent's hands. She estimates she'll get back to me within eight weeks.

Word of warning to anyone out there: Say (as a completely hypothetical example) you are querying, and you've gotten a few rejections, some with feedback about your manuscript. Based on this you decide, you need to change the story arc, rewrite the ending, and change some of the mythology in your book. But you figure, you haven't heard from the rest of your queries and it's been three months or so since you've sent them, so they must be rejections. In fact, you even blog about the death of your first novel and start working on a second book. Then, out of the blue, another full request comes in and now you have to do a month's worth of work in a week. What an idiot you would be. Don't be me  one of those people.

Okay, moving on.

For Face Off Friday, I will be selecting a topic that people have opposing opinions on. I will give both sides and then ask you, as commenters, to give you own opinion.

First in the ring: ADVERBS

On the Adverbs are Satan's spawn side:

The adverb is one of the most talked about parts of speech amongst writers. Pick up most writing books, and it will tell you that using adverbs should be avoided like the plague. Stephen King goes as far as saying that the road to hell is paved with adverbs.

The argument consist of the following:

-Adverbs are the sign of weak writing, particularly weak verbs. Why speak loudly when you should just yell?

-They tell instead of show.

-It's the lazy way. Ex.) He gazed at her tenderly vs. He gazed at her, brushing a wisp of hair off her face.

-They provide redundant information. Ex.) He yelled loudly. She ran quickly.

-They make the prose sound purple.

On the Adverbs are unfairly maligned side:

This side claims that murdering adverbs is just part of the current trend of our fast-moving, text-messaging, tweeting society. We want writing to be as succinct as possible. We don't have time to read all the flowery prose that the 1940s writers employed.

Their argument:

-Sometimes the adverb might be the absolute right work for the situation. Ex.)What would "through a glass, darkly" be without the adverb?

-Without adverbs and the other redheaded step child (dialogue tags), we're reduced to said, asked, and stated. Snore.

-Sometimes its hard to find a verb that fits what you're trying to say. Ex.) whispered loudly--you could say "said in a loud whisper" but if we're trying to be brief, what's better

-The general reading public are not bothered by them. Some of the bestsellers (most notably Twilight and Harry Potter) are notorious adverb abusers.

Case in point:

Unexpectedly, he was on his feet, bounding away, instantly out of sight, onlyto appear beneath the same tree as before, having circled the meadow in a half second.

“As if you could outrun me,” he laughed bitterly.

He reached up with one hand and, with a deafening crack, effortlessly ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk of the spruce.

… I’d never seen him so completely freed of that carefully cultivated facade. … His lovely eyes seemed to glow with rash excitement. Then, as the seconds passed, they dimmed. His expression slowly folded into a mask of ancient sadness.

“Don’t be afraid,” he murmured, his velvet voice unintentionally seductive.

… He sat sinuously, with deliberately unhurried movements, till our faces were on the same level, just a foot apart.

– Excerpted from Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, pages, 264-265 (source)

I'll admit that I struggle with no adverb rule when I'm writing. A large chunk of my editing goes into finding these and figuring out a better way to say whatever I was trying to say. (Tip: do a Find/Search on "ly" in your document to unearth the little buggers.)

The first run through my novel, I wasn't aware of this rule. Wow. When I started reading on the craft and discovered this, I wanted to bang my head against the computer. Adverb (and dialogue tag) abuse didn't even begin to describe the first version of my novel.

So how about you? Do you struggle with this? Are there ever times where you think the adverb is needed? Are we being too hard on this lonely part of speech?

I ♥ Free: Writing Workshops From the Pros

So if the Romance Writers of America didn't rock enough already, I found out recently that they offer most of the worksheets from their last two years of conferences for download--FREE (in case you didn't catch on to that part from the obnoxious picture above).

The worksheets are chock full of information on such helpful topics as:

All Kinds of Alphas

What differentiates YA from adult fiction

Chemistry

Creating 3-D characters

Mastering POV and tense

Research and Development for the Paranormal World

The 15-minute synopsis

The Critique Relationship

Writing Dark Love Stories

The list continues on. Then, as if those weren't enough, they have the 2008 worksheets available as well. The topics, although related to romance, would be helpful for any writer, especially if you have any romantic elements in your story.

Check them out here:

RWA Conference Handouts and Recordings

If you have money to burn (shyeah, like any of us do), they also offer the audio recordings of all the workshops for $129--technically a deal considering how much it would have cost to actually attend the conference.

Let me know what you think of the offerings. Enjoy!